Own mind

   The holiday season has never belonged to my favorites. My parents are divorced, and I've had to choose who to spend the holiday with for over 11 years. This year I was supposed to be with my mother in England. Unfortunately, I was alone because of the current situation. I spent the first time in my life without any of my parents. Of course, on the one hand, I dream about spending a real family holiday, but I know that in my current situation this is not possible. On the one hand, I feel relieved because it is a decision that creates a huge emotional burden every time, which I can't deal with right away. I still can't accept the idea that I still have to practice such situations. Unfortunately, that's life. Not always logical and easy. Being aware of today's speed at which the virus is spreading, I understood that the most responsible would be staying at home because of my parents' age and the fact that the virus was spreading faster in England than in our country. It put even more weight in my head. Fortunately, my woman was with me in the current situation. We both made sure that the day was nice and pleasant and we both wanted to spend the holidays we will be waiting for next year. It happened, that day was different, so normal in the abnormal sense. I feel that it will change my approach to this type of circumstances in some way. I can promise myself that I will try to draw more from such moments.

   There was a breakthrough moment. My woman - Żaneta, has already stayed with me for some time in my apartment, and because the social situation has developed so much that we decided to live together. This is a bold step because we have been together for less than 11 months. Looking at this, a huge challenge awaits us, but we look at it with optimism. In general, we know each other for over 5 years, which means that we know each other very well. However, now we can really feel the way we are every day. Such conditions can show whether the fact that we were friends many years earlier will have a positive impact on the development of our relationship. Especially that I work remotely and we stay with each other practically 24 hours a day. These are demanding conditions, but we are both aware that the current situation requires exceptional measures. We love each other. We planned to move to Warsaw together, so it is also a good time to check our relationship. Of course there will be some quarrels, disagreements or serious quarrels, we are aware of this. However, we both want to be together, we love each other and take this relationship seriously. We had the choice of staying most of the time alone or together. People who love each other want to be together. Even if it has conflicts with it. Thanks to this situation, we learn new behaviors from our partner. We are developing in a way, which, as we already know, I value in life.

   Several days passed. The first day without an e-cigarette was brief - terrible. I haven't felt mentally humiliated for a long time. Why That day showed me that I am addicted to it. What did the next days show me? Despite my strong addiction, my perseverance is greater. Of course, the first day was unbearable, but the approach to it and external support proved invaluable. In such moments, it is worth thinking back to the strong reasons that made this decision to quit smoking. Several days passed and it was actually better. The thought that I would light up comes back again, but the new habit that is being built separates me from this thinking. Thanks to this approach, I feel that my self-discipline is increasing. Exactly such moments make you want to continue. Driven by the positive effect of my challenge, I decided to follow the blow. I didn't think I had time to devote myself to developmental reading. I appreciate people who go forward and want something more from life than average. I myself have many books on this subject. I mainly read about the approach to life, motivation, but also I discipline. I have met with the opinion many times that motivation does not exist and is not needed. There is some truth in it. What I think most influences success in any field is discipline. Unfortunately, I often have a problem with her. It is important, however, that now is a great time to work properly on it.

   Sitting at home for a few days, you start to notice many interesting things. With so much free time, he begins to think about himself, how he lived, functioned, how he managed relationships. I can definitely say that this period will be very reflective and that it will strongly influence how I perceive many things around me. The first thing that caught my eye was smoking an e-cigarette. Earlier I was moving a lot and it seemed to me that I didn't smoke too much. When I settled down at home, I realized that how often I reach for this drug is shocking. Every now and then the idea of ​​quitting appeared in my head, but as soon as he came, so quickly he went. However, now, I started to wonder if I could stop smoking for 2 weeks like that. The effect was visible already after 2 hours from the last time. It was bad, I felt a mental need to feel the taste. It worried me. The dead thing began to control me. It created a small rebellion in me and I decided to limit smoking. Over time, this little rebellion turned into the belief that I want to quit. I knew it would be hard, but I know from experience that the first three days will be the worst. Being mentally prepared for this challenge, I decided that tomorrow I would pour the rest of the oil into the e-cigarette and stop smoking. We'll see what comes out. I've already done it so why shouldn't it be the second time?

   The beginning of quarantine is not bad. All in all, I wanted to work remotely, it was similar with the university. Despite the morning hours of waking up, I feel a surge of desire. I have more ambitions to do something for myself. I decided to devote myself more to my work and work better. I feel that he solves his tasks easily. After work, I'm going to prepare something I haven't done yet - bread dough. This will be the first time, but I felt that thanks to this period I want to improve my cooking skills. It seems fairly simple, but after preparing the dough, it does not grow too. I consulted it with my father, I already know what I'm doing wrong. I am pissed off by the fact that I just gave too much water. It's funny how a person learns humility when preparing dough for baking bread. Previously, I would not approach it this way, but started to curse this cake from the worst. Isolation at home shows that I'm just discovering what I should work on. On the one hand it is sad and on the other it is developmental. Sad because the fairy-tale picture of yourself is not like reality. Developmental because man realizes that real life is continuous development. It is a constant path to being better than the previous day, without walking over the corpses to their destination. In such times, moral principles are important, especially when I see how many people use the current situation to extort money from others in a wicked way. Let them burn in the depths of moral hell.